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| Cabin in the Woods painting by Leonora "Lee" Schneider from wikicommons |
“Congratulations! You are our grand
winner!” Was displayed in giant red letters across Ted’s screen. He clicked on
the email. “Congratulations you are the
highest bidder of $100 for the cabin in the woods holiday home! It’s ready to
move into tomorrow.” Ted was so excited he nearly fell out of his chair.
Rushing for his phone he dialed Jammie’s number as fast as he could. “Jammie?
Hello? I got the place. Tell Kyle to pack his bags! The three of us are going
to the holiday cabin! I’ll see you tomorrow morning at 9:30 sharp. Ok bye!” Ted
threw his phone on the bed, dragged his suitcase out from under it and started
shoving as many clothes in it as possible.
The next
morning, Ted woke up early filled with excitement.
Ding Dong.
Ted rushed to the door and opened
it, but no one was there. A yellow envelope laid on the welcome mate with his
name on it. Flipping it over it read in bolded black letters do not open until you’re
with your full party for the cabin in the woods holiday home. Ted slammed the
door, rushed for his bag, hopped in the car and headed for Jammie’s.
Jammie was
sitting on her front porch when Ted pulled up. Waving at her She jumped up and
ran inside. When she returned Kyle was following her out with about seven
different pieces of luggage. “gezz jammie how many suit cases do you need?” Ted
sarcastically said. She laughed, “Only
one of those are mine, the rest are Kyle’s.” Kyle struggled, “What I have a lot
of stuff.” Kyle loaded the bags in the back and the two of them got in.
Ted pulled
the envelope out of his pocket and opened it. A key fell out, “umm what just
happened?” Jammie’s voice was shaky. When Ted looked up they had been
teleported to the cabin. “umm man what
is this?” Kyle said. Ted turned off the car and opened the car door. “It’s our
cabin for the holiday. Let’s go check it out!” Jammie and Kyle just stared at
him. “Come on guys it will be fun!” they were hesitant but they all pilled
inside. When they entered they were greeted with another note.
Welcome to your holiday home. Now there are
some rules you must follow.
1 Don’t go further then the nettles
in the south side or 50 paces anywhere else.
2 don’t leave the cabin at night
3 no outdoor fires
4 keep the noise down
5 Don’t eat anything but what is
provided by the cabin.
Enjoy your stay.
Jammie and Kyle
stared at Ted with fear in their eyes.
“It’s fine lets have fun!” Ted said. He
pulled out his speaker and began mixing drinks and turn some music. A couple
hours later the sun was setting and they were all laughing.
A strange
noise outside stopped the laughter. “Ted
turn off the music!” Kyle shouted. Jammie ran over and shut it off. “What’s the
deal?” Ted said. Kyle waved a hand at him to be quiet.
The noise
sounded again. Ted opened the door and walked outside. Jammie and Kyle ran
after him “Ted we aren’t suppose to go outside at night.” She said. Ted ignored
her and walked further outside toward the sound. They had been walking for
about five minutes when Kyle said, “Come on man we are way past fifty paces we
should go back”. Ted waved them off and kept going. “It’s fine. We are just
having a little fun. What’s the worst that could happen.” Ted said.
All of a sudden a flock of angry
birds started attacking Jammie. She let out a scream running as fast as she
could. She couldn’t see which direction she was going and slipped into a patch
of quick sand. Kyle and Ted tired to pull her out but the sand took her whole
dragging both Ted and Kyle with her.
With a yell Ted woke up, with a blinking computer screen asking for the amount he wanted to
bid. Closing the webpage he shut his computer and went back to sleep.
This inspiration for this story came from a map that I saw
and I used three different aspects from it.
Bibliography
"Map of the Area Surrounding our Holiday Home," a cartoon by Tom Gauld from his book ROBOTS MONSTERS. Etc Web Source
"Map of the Area Surrounding our Holiday Home," a cartoon by Tom Gauld from his book ROBOTS MONSTERS. Etc Web Source
This was a cool interpretation of the map! I'm amazed at some of the people in this class that can glean an entire, developed story from a simple map. I love it! I don't have much of an imagination myself, so I just adapted from one of the stories she gave us. I especially like the turn around at the end, I love when I don't expect what's going to happen next. :) Great story!
ReplyDeleteI actually used the map prompt, too, so it was really interesting to see how the same source material can be spun in different directions. Beyond that, though, this was just a really fun story. I especially love the idea of the key teleporting them to their cabin, and how you used a tidbit about Kyle’s luggage to give him quite a bit of characterization in very little space. Also, reading through this, I started wondering what an actual stay in this bizarre cabin would actually look like—I didn’t stop to think about that at all when I was working on my story, but now I feel like it would make for a really fun vacation story, haha.
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ReplyDeleteYour story is very fast paced, I almost felt like I was running through it. It’s not a bad thing, but I don’t know if it’s not a good thing either. It lends to certain things to be undeveloped. For instance, was there a reason why Ted was bidding on a holiday home or is it like one of those pop ads that just appear out of nowhere (got to love those)> I see a lot of Blair Witch Project going on, maybe it just reminds me of it, but be mindful you could really scare the daylights out of everyone. Go dark, go creepy. It could be weirdly fun! I wasn’t expecting the ending! That’s really good, but remember your story was so fast paced it lends itself to do crazy things. Another instance, is the ending. It just happened suddenly. Transition better from one point to another will help greatly. Once again, you did a great job and I can’t wait to read more of your stories : )
ReplyDeleteThis story reminds me a lot of a movie I watched recently. This story flowed very well and it was easily readable. This story is also very fast paced and leaves a lot of things up to our imagination. Overall this was a great ending to the story, but you better watch it. That's the kind of stuff that makes people mad sometimes haha.
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